SuburbanTragic

They wrote a book about me. It was called Holes.
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People Who Use Pinterest

I don’t want to start using Pinterest. Stop trying to make me use it, Internet!

Dorsey, does this make more sense? 

Did you know that BuzzFeed, a site whose staff is entirely made up of women planning their weddings, is on Pinterest?

This is missing “women who were Soprano II’s in their high school choir.”

Today seems like a good day for one or four of these.

Today seems like a good day for one or four of these.

(Source: pinkis4gangstas)

Malaise party.

Listen, I’m not saying that I’d use a mail-based tie exchange, but I’d totally use a mail-based tie exchange.

Wait, what?

Wait, what?

Whats with you and carbonated beverages lately?

If there were an award for clumsiness, I’d be the king.

Being suave is trying to take a big drink of water in a crowded place and having most of it end up on the floor.

kingsandvillains said: dont tell me that, its too close for me and ill be there every day

It’s not somewhere that you want to go as a destination, but a great place to end up.

Off The Top Of My Head-The Onion 

You know what improvisation is, right? It’s when a group of people wears the same kind of T-shirt and they say things off the tops of their heads. Zilch is scripted, and everything they do is inspired by shouted-out suggestions from the audience! Hubby Rick and I once saw an improv (what insiders call it) troupe perform at a pizza place. It caught us by surprise, because we were only there for pizza. Guess what? The mirthmakers performed a whole 10-minute routine based on Rick’s suggestion “Go away, we’re eating!” It was soooo funny, too! They worked it into a skit involving a telemarketer calling a family during dinnertime, and then the girl in the family gets brainwashed and joins a telemarketing cult. It comes off kind of weird in print, but performed live, it was hilarious! (To moi, at least—Rick almost punched out the tall skinny guy in the troupe afterwards for interrupting pizza time!)

I always love the “Jean Teasdale” pieces that The Onion runs, but this is just such a beautiful articulation of a middle-aged woman’s view of improv.

Slowly now. Slooooowly. You know what happened last time. Alright, looking goodAAGGHHH.

Someone opening a bottle of seltzer water

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