SuburbanTragic

They wrote a book about me. It was called Holes.
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A day late/A buck short/I’m writing the report/And these numbers don’t look good, Paul. I think we’re going to lose the company. 

That was a freebie.

One time I fell asleep in a crowded IMAX theater and woke up screaming “You could use wood filler!” It was my best public speaking event to date. 

“A deck of cards? What do you want me to do with this?”

gifthorsedentistry:

The 18 Best Running Gags in Arrested Development


If you don’t watch this, you’ve made a huge mistake.

I know I’m seven years late, but I just watched Pan’s Labyrinth for the first time, and I didn’t really like it? People over-hyping it was what kept me from watching it for so long in the first place (even though I had initially really wanted to see it), and I’m not sure if that still had any influence on my viewing experience. I just don’t think the A or B plot was compelling enough to justify the end, which basically came down to “You can try to escape your demons, but you’ll probably get killed.” And usually I’m totally cool with a real bummer ending like that, but here it almost seemed unwarranted. I was also not a fan of the clever “use the darkness created by the camera dollying past a static object as a transition” thing, or at least not the outrageous amount of unmotivated times it happened. 

I won’t argue that the character design and art direction wasn’t beautiful, because it was. Del Toro certainly knows how to paint a pretty picture, but the real substance of the film seemed forced and weak. But that’s just one man’s opinion. 

Seinfeld But Instead of Jerry Seinfeld It's Jesus

Jack:
Jesus, take the wheel.
Jesus:
I don't want the wheel.
Jack:
Take it. Take the wheel.
Jesus:
I don't wan't it!
Jack:
Take the wheel, Jesus!
Jesus:
Alright fine I'll take the wheel!

New ideas for vodka flavors:

  • Bagel
  • Menthol
  • Aspic
  • Old Spice
  • New Car
  • Anime

I’m fine with the body I have, I just want a really ripped shadow. 

Just sent out about 20 emails to people looking for roommates or subletters. My friend who I was going to move in with hasn’t necessarily backed out, but he wants a place he can stay in for many, many years, and as such is looking for places where rent per person would be well over $1300. Hopefully someone gets back to me soon, because I want to move this weekend. Why is this so hard?

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