Sweet lord. Hi there, I’m Tim and I am balls-to-wall high on ecstasy right now. But enough about me, let’s get down to business. I see you have this used Plymouth Prowler for sale, and I have just enough MDMA in my system to tell me that buying this thing is the best fucking decision I will ever make.
Wow, light sure does reflect off of it in all different directions, doesn’t it? Probably wouldn’t get sweet reflections like that on a Toyota RAV4, huh? Oh my god, I can touch the lights. Is that okay with you, me touching the lights? I don’t want to touch the lights without buying it if that’s not cool with you. It is? Holy hell. Let’s take it for a test drive.
Is okay if I smoke an entire pack of cigarettes in here right now? Too late, I just did, you probably missed it. Okay, well, I don’t know if I mentioned this, but I dropped about two bombs before coming here, and my face feels like gold. I bet your face feels nice. Wow, feel the way it vibrates on the road. I should not be driving right now.
This car reminds me of really tasty hard house beats. Do you like hard house, or are you more of a DnB kind of guy? Judging by this car that you probably bought new not considering the complete impracticality of such a purchase, I’d say you’re probably a hard house guy. Wow, all the console lights are so pretty. Am I sweating? My seat feels all wet. I’m sweating. This is so great.
Wow, my serotonin is completely blown through the fucking roof right now. Do you think I can touch the car a few more times? You know what, it doesn’t matter, I’ll take it. Its not for sale? Well, that’s your loss, I was really looking forward to crashing into a tree at 120mph listening to that new Bassnectar remix. PLUR, motherfucker.
